I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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