Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
