he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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