I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
