VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
