We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
My penis needs a shock collar
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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