just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
