I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
