Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
