May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
