Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We're too hungover to prance.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
