The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
