Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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