Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
