Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
