he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
