Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
