Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
