My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
