So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Randomize
