his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
