Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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