if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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