New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
