It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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