I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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