Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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