Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
