So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
