Say something about gay babies.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
