i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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