i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
