It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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