We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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