Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
