you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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