um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
