maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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