well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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