I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
