there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She needs sedatives and a leash
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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