Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
we should paint friendship bongs
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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