I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
