I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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