Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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