glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
