i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
zippers are such a cool invention
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
