We're facebook friends in real life
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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