i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he fucked my hip out of place.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
