I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
